In this article, we provide the biblical definitions of emotions and abuse, address how abuse damages emotions, and offer five practical and effectual steps for emotional healing. Healing your emotions is essential for living wholeheartedly and experiencing healthy relationships.

This article is the thirteenth of a blog series offering practical steps rooted in Christ and biblical principles to help you build resilience and trust in God's plan. Following these steps, you'll learn to navigate life's trials with faith and confidence, leaning on Christ's everlasting support.

If you missed it, click to read The Power of Of Community and Its Impact on Our Faith Journey, the twelfth article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Overcome Obstacles With Grace, the eleventh article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Understanding Self-Love and How To Attain It, the tenth article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Developing A Christ-Centered Mindset for A Fulfilling Life, the ninth article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Embracing God's Promises, the eighth article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Overcoming Doubt and Fears Through Faith, the seventh article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Trust: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships Part Two, the sixth article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Trust: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships, the fifth article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Trusting God with His Plan After Trauma, the fourth article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Trusting God, the third article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Building A Resilient Faith: Jesus Our Model, the second article in this series.

If you missed it, click to read Understanding Biblical Resilience, the first article in this series. 

"What you feel emotionally becomes how you feel physically." -Dr. Don Colbert, Deadly Emotions

Emotions drive how we think, speak and act. They will determine if we are healthy or sick. While we won't be talking about physical health here today, understand that every event you experience will create the way you feel emotionally, and it is crucial to ensure you heal if those emotions are damaged.

Introduction

For many years, Marlee was in a series of unhealthy relationships, enduring emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual abuse. By the time she reached mid-life, she was in despair and felt hopeless, believing that there was no future for a woman with her past. During this time, she read the story about a woman at the well in John 4 of the Bible, which transformed her forever.

After encountering Jesus, Marlee surrounded herself with genuine believers who had gone through similar experiences but were now free and leading fulfilling lives. She shared her story, and these women loved her more. This supportive group ministered to her with heartfelt love and a commitment to seeing her realize her full potential. Through her journey, Marlee began to comprehend the importance of understanding the biblical definitions of emotions and abuse and the impact abuse was having on her emotional well-being.

The abuse she endured distorted the truth about how she viewed God, herself, and others. These distortions limited Marlee from building healthy relationships. She could not align herself with others who could give her what her heart deeply desired—healthy, loving, fulfilling relationships.

Marlee has gained emotional freedom, knows her purpose, and leads a fulfilling life with solid boundaries and limits with a biblical understanding of her identity in Christ rather than what her abusers instilled in her. She knows how to protect herself and stay strong in her new life when trouble comes. Marlee helps others find freedom, a story of redemption and fulfilled promises of God.

Can you relate to Marlee's story?

Are you or have you been on a path with those who didn't treat you with honor, dignity, or respect?

If so, we want you to know that, like Marlee, you can gain freedom from the aftermath of abuse, gain insight into why you make unhealthy choices in relationships, and learn practical and effectual steps for emotional healing.

Biblical Definitions of Emotions and Abuse

God created us with the emotions of joy, forgiveness, love, fear, and peace. He empowers us as His children to operate in these emotions.

Unfortunately, emotions become distorted and damaged through trauma and can make you feel overwhelming fear, guilt, anger & grief. (1) These distortions make one feel unsafe or helpless.

"Emotions are the language of the soul; they are the cries that give the heart a voice. God gave them to us to energize our behavior and to be a catalyst for action." -Dr. Donna Hart, PhD.

Emotions drive all decisions and are stored in your heart. Your emotions determine how you think, what you say, and what you do. The emotions you carry in your heart can be healthy or distorted.

The scriptures guide us to:

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." -Proverbs 4:23 NLT

When we experience trauma from abuse, our hearts, our minds, our wills, and our emotions are disregarded. Our hearts are virtually stepped on, and boundaries are crossed through abusive behaviors. We believe that our no's mean nothing, we are nothing, and life offers no hope. 

How we view God, ourselves, and others becomes fractured. We can't see others as God sees them; we see ourselves and others as the world has taught us through trauma.

We must meditate on the truth of God's word to heal,

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalms 34:18 NIV

Abuse is any act in which an older or more powerful person emotionally, physically, spiritually, or sexually violates another for their own satisfaction (2).

Abuse damages your emotions.

In Psalm 139 we learn that all our parts are knit together. Our body, our person, our emotions, mind, and will are all part of our complex being. The emotions we are created with are for our good.

Jesus says of those who exploited us,

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean'" Matthew 15:19-20

When abuse happens, it takes place in relationship. Our person and body are exploited, boundaries crossed, and trust broken. Abuse steals the emotions God so carefully knit you together to experience. It causes you to feel unsafe, creating a fear-based life. That fear causes you to see yourself as weak, helpless, and dependent.

Abuse causes misappropriated guilt. Those who are survivors are somehow convinced they are the cause of the abuse. You are not. It is wrong in every state of our country. When abuse happens and you are forced to do things you are against you can feel a deep sense of badness. 

"It can be a long and difficult process to untangle the threads that make up the ball of guilt. None of us is guiltless. When the sense of our own guilty state before God and others gets all twisted up with lies of abuse, the burden seems overwhelming and unforgivable." -Diane Mandt Langberg PhD

Anger is another emotion that becomes distorted and can harm us. While good in many areas, it can grow into destructive behaviors. Anger is a normal response to abuse, and even God reveals His response of anger to such things. It's healthy and essential to talk about your anger and what happened with emotionally safe people. It is part of the healing process. Many people choose to keep their anger hidden, to keep it deep inside their hearts. Keeping anger hidden proves to leave one with increased anger that grows into bitterness, displaying destructive behaviors.
 
Grief is a fourth emotion that may be overwhelming. The things we have lost as a result of our trauma can seem overwhelming to face. Whether it is the loss of our childhood, innocence, purity, hope, someone to listen to, hugs when sad, privacy, or others, we must face those losses to heal. When we experience grief, we can fall back on old patterns of coping, so it's critical to have someone with you to care for you and instill hope. Dr. Diane Langberg describes grief as passing through the valley of the shadow of death. Let's not go it alone. We need another to help us bear our losses, and mostly to know there is Another who has truly born them.

"Surely he . . . carried our sorrows" Isaiah 53:4. There is a Redeemer who has come to "comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve" Isaiah 61:2-3.

Practical Steps for Emotional Healing: Navigating The Aftermath of Abuse

It isn't possible to write all the answers and steps for emotional healing in detail in this article, but we offer highlights and insights for the steps we share.

Remember, when you are dealing with steps, it isn't necessarily in any certain order, it's a process of learning to implement each one into your life. You will have moments where you look back and think it might be easier to go back. That isn't true. The enemy wants you to go back because he doesn't want you to experience the joy of the Lord, forgiveness of yourself and others, love toward mankind, reverence and awe of God, and peace with God.

1. Seek Emotionally Safe People

When you give voice to your emotions with emotionally safe people, you are entering a relationship that will help you heal. When a counselor or caregiver knows how to respond to you in a healthy way, or can refer you to someone with your best good at heart, you are stepping through the fear and learning to trust in a safe relationship. Since relationship is where your abuse happened, experiencing safe relationships with those who know how to meet you where you are is healing.

2. Be Part of A Loving Church Community

Since you need to be in relationship to propel your healing, being a part of a loving church community who has an education and understanding of the abuse is a wonderful place for your healing journey. It is a gift to be a part of these support networks.

3. Articulate Your Fear

As shared earlier, trauma can create a fear-based life—it shuts us down emotionally. Sharing in community or one-to-one with safe people is a soft landing place for healing. If that isn't available to you, take time to write down or journal about your fears and speak to God about them. These daily practices can help you to heal. It might be scary to write something down, but if you do, you are facing it and making a step toward healing. Read scriptures that help you heal. Psalm 23 and 119 are powerful ones for meditating on daily.

3. Use Creative Arts for Healing

If writing is not something you can do, it's okay. Sometimes you can get stuck. Create a collage of your feelings. Use words other survivors have used to express their emotions. Use the creative arts, whether music, sculpture, painting, colors, drawing, dancing or others to express how you feel. This creativity you have is from God to help you on your journey. Embrace the fact that God is with you, no weapon formed against you will stand, He is for you and wants to see you heal. If you have trouble knowing your emotions, use this emotion wheel to help you articulate the root of your feelings.

4. Use Your Voice

You were given a voice by God for the intention of using it. The fear created from abuse renders our voice useless. We stutter, can't think clearly and can get our words all twisted up if we do get them out. If you are with unsafe people, they may take your words and use them against you rather than showing understanding and empathy. It's important that as you meditate on God's word and find your voice you begin to use it. This verbal acknowledgement will help you separate lies from truth. Use your voice, it's a powerful force for your healing.

5. Understand The Voice of Your Redeemer

When you spend time with Jesus in the Word, meditating on the scriptures of truth and promises God made to you, you gain understanding of the voice of your Redeemer. He unfolds in His own story how He experienced everything you have been through. He knows how you feel, your thoughts about it and how to help you heal. By knowing His voice you are better able to divide the truth from lies and heal more every day. He is your healer.

Conclusion

Emotional healing is a journey that requires patience, faith, and the willingness to confront the pain of the past. Like Marlee, you can find freedom by recognizing the impact of your emotions, understanding the truth of God's Word, and surrounding yourself with supportive, loving people. Healing from abuse and trauma is not easy, but with practical steps rooted in biblical truth, you can regain control of your life and emotions. Remember, you are not alone—God is with you every step of the way, ready to heal your heart and restore your spirit. Embrace the truth of who you are in Christ, and allow His love to guide you toward wholeness and peace.

Click Here To Download the Emotion Wheel To Help You on Your Healing Journey

In our next article we will discuss Living Out Your Faith In Action.

Sources:

1 On The Threshold of Hope. Copyright © 1999 by Diane Mandt Langberg, PhD. p 99

2 On The Threshold of Hope. Copyright © 1999 by Diane Mandt Langberg, PhD. p 43